17 November, 2006

On Languages of Man*

*Or, should I say, "languages of person" -- but that sounds rather strange :p

Anyway, as everyone knows, all nouns (i.e. words that denote things) are capitalized in German -- e.g. Beer, Automobile, etc. And it comes as no surprise that Germans do make great things.

But, to my amateurish knowledge, there are no languages where verbs (i.e. words denoting actions) are capitalized. And, applying a sort of a negative anthropic principle, if there was such a language, it's carriers would take over the world. Very action-oriented people, they would be!

To increase productivity even further, adjectives should be abolished! That's right, adjectives should be replaced with participles and adverbs, e.g. instead of saying "red car" we should say "painted with paint made from [whatever the red paint is made from] car". As a result, technological processes would be embedded in the language, so as they learn to speak, children would also learn that

a) cars don't become red by themselves, they are painted red by someone/something
b) red paint is made from [whatever that stuff is]

Most nouns can also be also replaced with participles, except for the most basic ones -- "a gas-powered vehicle", or, rather, "an oil-derived-fuel-powered vehicle", or "an ancient-flora-liquefied-humus-derived-fuel-powered vehicle". Yeah! That's the word!

No comments: